When building the foundation of a team, trust and respect are literally the cornerstones upon which everything else is built. I’ve seen many people that don’t really like each other, but respected and trusted one another, which allowed them to produce great results. Below, I’ve outlined three examples of trust and respect in the workplace, as well as a formula to nourish them both.

Back in the 1940’s, the Department of War issued pocket cards to Supervisors that were based on these principals. They called them the “Job Relations Training Card”. I sometimes find it helpful to remind myself of how little humans have changed over the years:

• Let each employee know how he is getting along
• Give credit when due
• Tell employees in advance about changes that will affect him
• Make the best use of each persons ability
• People Must Be Treated As Individuals

In order to go a bit further, let’s differentiate between Trust and Respect. Trust and respect in the workplace are directly linked to one another, yet are absolutely different. Trust is all about being able to turn your back on someone with little fear that they will do what you expect them to do. That said, respect is more about looking at someone and thinking, I value their opinion because I’ve seen that it’s worth as much or more than mine.

Here’s a simple outline of how to build both trust and respect in the workplace:

Why Are Trust and Respect So Critical

So, why should you care about trust and respect in your workplace? That’s as simple as the Golden Rule…”do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” You want trust and respect because you want to be trusted and respected. That’s just human nature! Even if people don’t want to admit it, nobody comes to work to fail. Everyone wants to be successful, which usually leads to trust and respect. These cornerstones allow teams to function past their likes and dislikes. Think of trust and respect like rubber tires on an aluminum wheel. Without the rubber, the ride would be very bumpy. However, with the right tires, you get to hug the curves!

Here are some specific examples…

Although the U.S. Military has taken plenty of criticism, it’s also known as one of the most efficient and effective fighting forces on earth. If you’ve ever been around someone that has been military trained, then you already know that they have a high level of trust and respect. The rank of their team members plays a huge role in how they communicate and what they are allowed to do. This respect removes variation in their processes and allows them to function seamlessly even in uncertain situations. In addition, there is a level of trust within equal ranking members because they must believe that their team members have their back in life and death.

Another example that highlights the importance of trust and respect is a hospital setting. Doctors, who are highly trained professionals often have to make decisions that will have lasting affects for a lifetime. While there are many other people involved in patient care, this part is non-negotiable. This distinct respect for the Doctor’s role is backed up by a level of trust for the staff…once a patient is put under anesthetic, he or she must trust that the team will do the right thing while they are at their most vulnerable.

Finally, we have the example of a restaurant. I know that many people would debate that there is trust and respect in a restaurant, however I would beg to differ! If you’ve ever eaten in a nice restaurant, you had to trust that the kitchen was preparing your food in a safe environment. You trust that they have cleaned the dishes from the previous people and cooked the food to a safe temperature. On the front end of the business, you’d likely agree that a high level of respect was a critical part of serving a table of people.

All three of these examples just highlight the trust and respect and the roles they play in a high functioning team. Although, I would be remised if I ignored the not so great experiences we’ve all had with people that lack trust and respect. I don’t see much value in lamenting on those situations, since they are fairly common. Instead, let’s focus on avoiding those situations by building the team environment that fosters T&R!

How To Build Trust

In most settings, I’ve heard it said, “trust is earned”. I believe this to be true. However, some would also say that there is no formula for making this happen. While there isn’t a guaranteed formula for sure (because we are dealing with humans), there are certain elements that if nurtured, will set the stage for the best case scenario. Here are those elements:

Quality. Whether you lead a team or are on the bottom of the seniority rung, nothing will build or derail trust quicker than your quality of work. The people that count on your work will always appreciate quality. The reason for this is simple, it’s less effort for them. It’s one less thing they need to worry about. However, feed them poor quality, and they will turn on you very quickly.

Character. This is an over-used word that has come to mean almost nothing. So, let me define it how I see. Character is simply doing what you say you are going to do (even when nobody is looking). This is a personal pet peeve of mine. I’m often shocked at the number of people I work with that don’t realize how much they over-promise and under-deliver. The good news here is that it’s not that hard to do what you said you would do. Just don’t over-promise and make sure you follow through on your commitments. This is an easy way to stand out in a crowd!

Team Over Self. This concept is not new by any means. Watch any family movie and there is usually some element involved. However, in reality this can be more difficult to accomplish. It often means doing things with humility. We’ve heard the phrase “taking one for the team”. Think of the poor guy that has to get up and bunt on a baseball team. It often means he will get thrown out, but the team gets to score. See if you can swallow your pride and take on for your team!

How To Build Respect

Listen. I’ve blessed enough to have two serious mentors over the years. Both of which gave me similar advice…”you were born with two ears and one mouth for a reason”. This may seem like a simple task, but if you’ve ever watched a verbal game of words volleying back and forth, you’ll often notice an imbalance. That’s because many people don’t understand this concept.

Listening takes practice and skill. It’s not as simple as just shutting your mouth. It also means intently listening. By intently, I mean not just listening to tell someone they are wrong, but listening to gain new information. This is the equivalent to adding fuel to your decision making engine. If you find yourself just defending your point, instead of reconsidering your stance, you are probably losing ground from a respect standpoint.

This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t stand your ground. The challenge is that as long as time permits, you should hear people out and make sure you have the best information to make the best decision. Simply treat them how you would want to be treated.

Learn. As we grow older, I’m convinced we get more rigid in our beliefs and ways of thinking. If you’ve ever tried to convince your Grandpa to try something new, you’ve probably experienced this. By continuing to learn, you show flexibility in your thinking (literally the opposite of rigidity). People will tend to bring you new ideas, which will help you stand out from the crowd.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Romans 12

Support. This last piece is all about “serving” your team. If you look for ways to avoid work and protect your own butt, don’t be surprised if nobody respects you. That said, if the people around you know that you are always willing to lift a helping hand, your in a different category.

How To Regain Trust & Respect

All of us, at one time or another, will find ourselves in a situation where we’ve emptied our trust & respect bank account. This is a normal part of working in a team environment. This is especially true if you are dealing with high pressure situations (which is almost all of us). Push too hard, say the wrong thing, or ignore the wrong comment, and you can find yourself here.

The good news is that this situation is fixable. You can rebuild your T&R account, as long as you don’t continue to repeat this behavior and the damage isn’t too deep. I’ve personally found that with a humble heart and a clear change in behavior people will forgive. You just need this ingredient…

Patience. This topic is one of relativity. What I consider patient is not the same as my wife. What I believe to be forever (more than 5 minutes), she barely considers enough time to breathe. So, my advice with this is to consider the situation. The most confusing part is that you can spend years building up trust & respect, just to lose it all in a matter of moments.

So, if you’ve really screwed up, you can expect it to take a long time for people to trust you again. Of course, some people may never fully trust you. However, if this is a minor infraction with a limited number of repeats, then you can probably make a come back pretty quick.

Wherever you find yourself, patience is the key!

Humility. Admitting you’ve messed up is the simple answer here. Holding on to your bad behavior and pretending like everything is fine will only make things worse. This gets even more difficult if you know in your heart that they are wrong. If this is the case, you’ll need to decide what it’s worth to you. Would you rather be right or would you rather gain back their respect? If the later is the case, bite your tongue, apologize, and learn from the situation.

If you decide to hold your ground, just make sure you are prepared to deal with the consequences.

Trust and Respect Test

Do you want to know if people trust and respect you? Just listen to them. Do they freely tell you about their concerns? Do they ask you for help? Do they count on you for things without bugging you to make sure they get done? If the answer is yes to all of these, then you are probably in good shape!

However, if you answer no to these, then you probably have some work to do. If you read through the points above and find yourself lacking, don’t try to tackle it all at once. Instead, pick one and focus on real lasting change. Once you’ve mastered one, pick another and repeat. If you find yourself getting compliments, you know you’ve done well.

God Bless and best of luck in your journey!!